2 things that I changed around my relationship with happiness and you can do too
Are you happy?
Has this question ever created heartaches for you?
Has guilt creeped up on you for saying it out loud as you felt obliged to do so responding to pressure or expectations from family and friends despite not really feeling it?
Have you ever felt like holding yourself back from feeling truly happy because everything was not in check in your life?
2 things that changed my relationship to how I feel about happiness: choosing a different attitude towards it and finding my own definition of happiness.
Limiting beliefs stop us from celebrating our joy
In the past oftentimes I was afraid to say I am happy.
Why?
Because my limiting belief was that I only allow myself to say it wholeheartedly. If anything wasn't in order or felt temporarily out of balance, I wasn't giving myself the green light to verbalize my joy. I rather punished myself as if the happiness police was about to knock on my door the next minute.
Changing the attitude towards happiness
Perfectionism vs. enjoying the imperfection of the present moment
Why do we feel everything needs to be perfect, why do we struggle to live happiness in the imperfection of the moment? We know life is a perpetual cycle, no-one can be happy all the time.
On my path I realized that I can be happy in the moment and still have dreams to go towards and goals to reach to feel fulfilled. It was such a game changer for me to be able to say to myself first of course, and then to the outside world: "Yes, I am happy."
And what helped me to do just that?
I chose to be curious instead.
One day I started to look for what I can be happy about in the moment and practice radical self-love that is unconditional. This way I was able to embrace temporarily negative feelings and still not be thrown off my happy place as it's all part of the journey.
I instead was looking for the lesson hidden.
I made a promised to myself that as long as I make efforts everyday to show up as my best version, I can be content. And of course, that is not everyday, but I don't punish myself anymore.
The meaning of happiness
I also gave myself permission to connect deeply to the meaning and formulate what it meant for me. Just like success can mean different things for different people. And that's ok.
Doubts can creep up because of societal and other influences around you. I would encourage you to connect to your true essence, know your values and say it without guilt: (yes, let's go, practice with me)
"I am happy. Here and now. I am ok with what is. I know that I do my best so that each day is spent meaningfully. I know that even if I feel uncertainty, loss, anger or any kind of unpleasant feelings, that is also part of the journey."
The meaning of happiness for me is that I am living a life of conscious choices based on values that are aligned with my true essence. In any given moment I am not thrown off easily my path.
I am connected to the inner knowing that gives me peace.
Thanks to that I am able to bring presence to challenges and adversities, trust the process and enjoy the journey. I am embracing it in its totality.
Failure and disappointment or regret gained another meaning too this way and maybe take up less space or shorter time.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings fully, they are valid, change your attitude towards them rather. That can bring a whole new level of happy in your life.
Here is a summary of my tips for you:
Reframe perfectionism and look for joy in the imperfection of the moment
Choose curiosity over fear-based attitude, look for the hidden lessons
Practice unconditional, radical self-love
Nurture a connection to your inner knowing, be at peace with what is
Stay in balance despite challenges, trust the cyclic nature of life
I would be honored to guide you on this journey looking for your own answers:
What happiness in the moment is for you?
How do you make the journey enjoyable for yourself?
What choices do you make so that you can say "I am happy" with ease?
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